Let me haunt you [poem]

Let me be the stain that marks your purity.

Let me be deficit that defines your hierarchy.

Let my blood be tested for the symptoms you can’t recognise.

Let my cervix be scraped in procedures that you subsidise.

 

Let me be the shame that invents your respectability.

Let us pretend that this has something to do with me.

 

If letting him fuck me makes a good wife’s other,

then the good wife is defined by her fallen sister.

If letting him fuck me constitutes you,

then when he is fucking me, you’re fucking me too.

 

Let me degrade you by letting you degrade me.

Let us pretend that this has something to do with me.

 

Let me be the wildest dreams you can’t imagine for yourself.

Let me be the wet dream you pretend you never have.

Let me be the nightmare you sweat out in your sleep.

Let me be all that you purge to make a you you want to be.

 

Let me be the phantom limb you feel but cannot see.

Let us pretend that this has something to do with me.

 

Let me be the price of your safety, just as I embody your danger.

Let me be your survivor’s guilt, just as I rouse your anger.

Let me be the reputation you forge by denunciating me.

Let me be the gauze that treats your narcissistic injury.

 

Let me be your apology to those misfortunate as me.

Let me be the project for your booming rescue industry.

Let me be the deviance for your altruistic sympathy.

Let me be your emancipation from the stigma you assign to me.

 

Let me be your limit case, your metaphor for patriarchy.

Let us pretend that this has something to do with me.

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